Crystalis – Bane of My Existence – Part 1

OK, so about… what?  a month ago, I said I’d be finishing up Crystalis and posting a review\look back at one of my favorite games from the NES era.  Yeah, that worked out.

Let me start off by saying that I’m ecstatic that I replayed this game.  Pretty much all that I remembered being fun was still fun and I loved being able to replay all of my favorite moments.

That being said, my rose-tinted Nostalgia Glasses were very good at hiding flaws that I either was too young to notice, or completely forgot about.  But more about that later!

Let’s start out with the basic plot, shamelessly paraphrased from the game’s manual:

You are a young magician, woken from his long slumber.  While you slept, the world ended, much of the world was turned into monstrous creatures, and magic arose again.  Then, a magician named Draygon came to power and started combining his magical powers with that of science and technology.

He created a giant tower in the sky, capable of spreading his control across the land.  Several magicians used the last of their magic to awaken the boy of legend and thus… the game begins.

The world ended on October 1, 1997.  Why 1997?  Why just seven years after the game released?  I have no idea.  But you can bet your ass that I hunkered down with my magical sword in the basement all day on October 1, 1997.

So the gameplay:  A allows you to use an equipped item or magic, while B swings your sword (hold to charge up your attack) and allows you to use consumable items.  Simple enough.  Here’s a shot of the main screen:

Nice one, you just killed a mutated human.

Life bar, weapon charge… all the stuff on the HUD is pretty standard.  And hey, an EX bar!  That means we’ll be doing some serious grinding to level up this wonderful bastard.  And boy do you.

That bear… wolf… whatever creature there (along with his dick-n’-balls-lookin’ blue slime brother) only give you 1 XP per kill.  So the first 30 don’t take too long.

Yeah buddy! Levelin' up is awesome!

Oh, but when you get into that cave and start fighting the green eye-stalk slimes and the creepy snake-dragons?  Sorry, bro, but you’ve gotta be at level 3!  So you slaughter sixty more BearWolves and Blue Male Genitals and viola!  Level 3.  Breathe it in.  Pretty sweet huh?

Oh and while wandering around the cave, you found The Ball of Wind!  Awesome!  You can now power up your sword TWO levels and bust down walls.  This is a great improvement.


Those blue bats? Total assholes.

So… you’ve pretty much mastered this game now, right?  Charge, shoot, charge, shoot, charge, shoot… Pretty basic stuff.  A Medical Herb here, a pair of Warp Boots there.  Nothing too big.  Hell, even the huge rock throwing Sasquatch guys aren’t too much of a challenge…  But then… BAM!

Fuck This Guy.  Seriously.

The First Boss. What. An. A-hole.

Assuming you got to Level 4, you should be all set here.  Oh and you did get the Refresh spell from Zebu, right?  Well if you did, you can heal.  Until your magic runs out.  And that won’t take long.  And if you didn’t?  Use those 50 dollar warp boots and get back to that first town, stat!

One Dead Boss Later...

Look at that life bar!  Just squeaked by.  He’s gone, you got a pair of… Wait, Rabbit Boots?  Well, now you can jump and make an extremely annoying noise.  Certainly this will come in handy later.

Exit the cave and you’re on to part 2 of my look back at Crystalis!


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